This piece of art work on the wall at Island Bay beach caught my eye and rattled my brain. “Being a human is weird” only makes sense, in my brain, if there is something to compare humanness against. Imagine looking at a human and saying well compared to a …….. we are weird. Compared to what??? It was that notion of comparing that rattled my brain.

Whether we look at this from a kaiako (teacher) perspective, where we compare children, or a personal perspective, where we compare ourselves to others, it is a slippery slippery slope that generally does not have a good ending. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” We need the freedom and permission granted from those around us to be unashamedly ourselves. I had thought more about this during the week as I watched a four year old dance to his hearts content. (click the link to read the story) The Swish and the sway. Te Whāriki uses the term ā tōnā wā, meaning “Each child learns in their own way, which means there can  be wide variation in the rate and timing of learning and in developing the capacity to apply new knowledge and skills  in different contexts.” I think it is human nature to try and put people into neat boxes with labels such as 2 year olds, 65 year olds, boys, girls, women, men, Māori, European etc. But do we fit into labels that easily, and in labelling does it mean we can all too quickly fall into the comparison trap. For example if you have a 2 year old label you should be able to……. just like other 2 year olds or if you are a boy we would expect you to….. It is in the comparing that we might see things as ‘weird’ or not enough. We are always always alway enough!!!!!

Brēne Brown said, “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” This week it was thinking about Ryan in the Learning Story (fake name) that made me revisit the book Discovering the Culture of Childhood by Emily Plank. It was a book that in the past challenged my thinking, moving me out of my unquestioned view of what childhood looks like through my eyes of children becoming. Plank wrote, “When childhood is one step on the journey toward adulthood, everything we do with children is measured in terms of the strides made on the path.” Ryan was able to dance with the abandonment of worrying about what others might think of him, a sensation that often is relinquished when we enter into adulthood. We worry about are we good enough, or what will others think of me, questions that rob us of our freedom to just ‘be’.

How do we ensure that children retain the ability to hold onto the freedom to ‘be’ all that they are and the freedom to express themselves the way they choose? Firstly, we do not judge or compare. We celebrate the joy of experimenting with ideas, we ensuring that teaching and learning is about children having agency over their own learning and that the provocations that are offered are open to children’s ideas. Sir Ken Robinson said, “Every day children lay their dreams at our feet, therefore we should be careful where we tread.”

Being a human is weird only if you are an alien and you think that connection, belonging, collaboration, aroha and the ability to ‘be me’ are not important. Being human means we all have a deep need for connection and belonging. Neurobiology has found that we are hard-wired for connection, the kind of connection that comes from acceptance of who we are and what we bring now in this moment without the need to change who we are to fit in. I want to finish with the words of Brene Brown because I could not say it any better:

“We must be guardians of spaces that allow children to breathe, be curious, and to explore the world and be who they are without suffocation. They deserve one place where they can rumble with vulnerability and their hearts can exhale. And what I know from the research is that we should never underestimate the benefit to a child of having a place to belong—even one—where they can take off their armor. It can and often does change the trajectory of their life.”